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  • Writer's pictureLt. Tim McMillan (Ret.)

When I Die You’ll Love Me

Full disclosure, I had never heard of Lil Peep until I read of his death. However, after reading of his tragic drug overdose and death,and then checking out his music, I discovered this young man was an extremely talented artist. His music was unique and riddled with raw emotion surrounding depression and drug addiction. Because... well, Lil Peep suffered from depression and drug addiction. Now the sad truth is there are a great number of people who were around this young man that exploited his ability to convey his emotional pain through music, and instead of trying to help him, they allowed him to kill himself. I don’t blame this young man for his death. If you listened to any of his past interviews he did not glorify depression and drug addiction. However, the people who profited off of his musical innovation, absolutely facilitated the image of depression and addiction as being “counter culture cool.” Those people should be disgusted with themselves, because there is one tragic unspoken reality here... The reason this young man was so popular and had such a cult following was because he appealed to large numbers of people who themselves are suffering with the pains of mental illness. Instead of giving those people a message of hope and helping this young man overcome his pain, for three years this Lil Peep said he was killing himself and they encourage him to do it. At the end of the day, the most nauseating thing about all of this is, whether it is the pharmaceutical or entertainment industry, people’s addiction to greed allows them to support and facilitate the addiction and suffering of people. They are very literally killing people and they don’t give a f***. This isn’t entertainment! This is real life. This is something I see personally in my job every day. Not long ago, I saw a mother collapse in the parking lot of a gas station from an opioid overdose, while literally still wearing a hospital gown and bracelet from when she was hospitalized the night prior for a drug overdose. As she was carted off in an ambulance, and medical professionals once again tried to save her life, we walk next-door to a hotel room where we knew the woman was staying with her boyfriend. At the room we found a father passed out on the floor of their hotel room from an opioid overdose. When he was finally able to become semi-coherent, he had no idea where his twin 10-month-old babies were. My officers and I had to spend three hours until we were finally able to track down and find out these children were safe and thankfully had been taken by a responsible and loving family member. Three hours your homes and neighborhoods could not be patrolled. Three hours our ability to proactively deter crime and the victimization of innocent people was dramatically reduced, because no offense, but the lives of these babies took precedence. The most likely outcome will be these two children will never know their parents either because of legal intervention for their protection or because of their parents likely eventual untimely death. The drug dealers who will be responsible, do not work on corners or are “thugs” and “gangbangers.” Instead, they are individuals who have titles like CEO and Dr. in front of their name. As long as there is money to be made to satisfy these white collar drug dealers insatiable greed will resemble a tragic comedy without the laughs. Meanwhile people such as myself will be tasked with caring away children or cleaning up the dead bodies, while the ones responsible laugh and share $1000 bottles of wine in Caribbean vacation homes. To these people who have sold their souls and the lives of average people for tailored suits and interviews in Forbes magazine, I’m not sure what you ultimately believe in. However, if I was you, for your own sake, I would pray that God really didn’t exist. Because if God really does exist, these people might not like the eventual outcome to their intemperance to excess. 

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