When You Feel Like Refugee From Within. To Be Hated For Loving The Truth.
The original traffic stop I made that initially caused my name to be known throughout the world occurred just over four months ago. Even though the incident occurred 1/3 of a year ago, various media organizations have recycled or published the account again at a relatively regular pace. Every time a new media site or organization publishes an article it reignites the public’s interest, which often leads a significant number of people who seeks me out. As I see the messages rolling into my inbox, or the page “likes” streaming upward at a fever pitch, I am reminded that all of this has been a blessing and also a curse. Often, the first thing that comes to mind is “Oh no!”
Please understand that I will never waiver from the fact that the blessing far outweighs the curse when it comes to my story. Fundamentally, I accept the curse as merely the dual nature of the beast. If I only received one message from someone talking about the positive impact that occurred from reading what I wrote it would be all worth it. The reality is that it has never been one message, rather they total well in the thousands at this point. So for that reason, I will never regret every single time someone shares my story, and it sparks a wave of positivity.
However, that wave of positivity comes with a curse negativity. Individuals crawl out of the underbelly of constricted consciousness and spew their fanatical venom. I remember back in October I did a phone interview with a Fox News or CNN, and I said: “Why is this such a big deal?” The reporter saying, “You just don’t get it do you? You are a white, active-duty cop, from the South speaking out for minority rights. Too many people member of the Black Community, you are like a unicorn.” Naïvely, I chuckled and said, “If you say so.” Truthfully, I didn’t get it back then. However, I get it now.
To me, I never said anything in my original post I didn’t mean, nor was it something I hadn't been saying for years to my family, friends, and other cops. In fact, virtually all of them had the “what’s the big deal attitude” like me. My wife was like, “Yeah that’s Tim. I’m glad he has a global audience now, so he can talk their ear off now and not me.” My Officers said, “Man, the stuff he’s saying is the same things he’s been preaching to us for years.” In essence, it was nothing major inside my personal bubble.
However, the same ignorance that allowed me ever to have been shocked that Brandon was scared of being pulled over by the police is the same ignorance that allowed me to have ever wonder, why this was a big deal in the first place.
A lot of people have the choice of living life in blissful ignorance. Unfortunately, I was not afforded that right. Additionally, most people, to an extent, get to choose their paths in life. I have not been granted that either. Because, the moment the curtain of ignorance was withdrawn and thousands upon thousands of people reached out to me and said, “Help!” What was I supposed to do?
To me, it would have been unethical at that point to say, “Wow! Sucks to be you guys, I’m out.” I never wanted to be a cop growing up, but when life chose the profession for me, it was out of a desire to help others and make positive impacts in this world. Therefore, to me blowing off thousands and thousands of people’s fears, and concerns would have been immorally wrong as driving past someone in my police car who was screaming for help.
I’ve told people, you don’t think there is such thing as “white privilege” in America, take a month speaking out for minority rights and tell me what happens. By this point right now, just my Facebook page alone, I have reached 3,420,000 people over the last four months. If you add, the 191 different news stories from 31 different countries that number extends to almost 400,000,000 people. Now, the honest to goodness truth is, I have never once received a negative message or personally seen one single negative comment from any member of the minority community or a foreigner. NOT ONE SINGLE ONE! I’m not saying they might not exist; I’m just saying I’ve never seen one.
You know what I have seen? A ton of negative comments from white people. Especially white males, some of which are themselves cops. Typically, I am accused of “pandering” to minority communities. I have, to be honest, I don’t even know what the f%$& that means! Pandering for what? I’m not paid for any of this, nor have I been paid for ANYTHING I’ve ever done such as interviews, speeches, or appearances in documentaries.
Indeed, I have a donation link. However, that has been solely set-up to support the research and accreditation organization I am trying to establish. Now, a discerning eye might note that fund hasn’t received a single donation in almost a month, and the total amount donated has been $1,525. Wooohooo! Pack up the kids honey we made it to the big time! The reality of that is every dime of that money has been spent on establishing that organization and like everyone else I live paycheck to paycheck.
Ultimately, the thing I can never understand is how I can be so hated by so many individuals, some within my profession. The common theme is to call me a “race baiter.” Ok, ok, ok, let me get this straight, I am race baiting against my own race? Is that what we are going with? Now, don’t get me wrong, I would be lying if I didn’t admit at times the things I’ve seen or read have indeed made me dig into a radicalized sense of self-loathing against white people. However, I quickly pull out of those moods.
The times when a new wave of interest crashes ashore on my page, I am always confronted with the irrationality of foolhardiness. How a single cop could dislike me is beyond my comprehension. You do realize that I am in the public eye so you can criticize me, while simultaneously connecting with people who frequently say, “I hated cops until I met you.” You realize that right? They hated you, and all I did was stop and say, “No one deserves to be mistreated.”
I also said, the same stuff you all were saying behind closed doors which were some of the incidents that were on the news involving cops, indeed were wrong. Don’t blame me for some of the public hating you. Blame your Drum Major instinct that says everything is rainbows and blue skies provided you stay inside your mental cage and don’t go out and look at the world through someone else’s eyes. I guess in that regard; sure I see why you hate me. Life is easy when you twist the title of “public servant” to mean the public serves you.
Ultimately, I accept that I must be very disconcerting to some of you who dislike me. You expect me to follow right along with what makes you comfortable. We can share some funny cop pictures, blame Obama for all the world’s problems, and talk about the thin blue line. Now, maybe I am one that is crazy because I don’t need the public or people to wave a flag and tell me how great I am because I wear a uniform. The public isn’t here for me; I am here for them. I am a public SERVANT.
Additionally, it doesn’t frighten me one bit to have others who I may not share the same racial identity, cultural background or religious belief with, say they deserve fair treatment. Instead, I would rather reach out and find out why they feel they aren’t being treated fairly. Additionally, shame on me I guess for believing my job isn’t simply to collect the bodies of the members of minority or disenfranchised communities off the pavement. Rather, I’d like to try to reach them before the bodies fall.
You want to complain about African American rights groups who demand social justice because they aren’t doing enough to stop killings in Black communities. Well, maybe you should put your money where your mouth is and go out there and reach people in the community and try to stop the violence before it starts. Or is that too much for you? Would that end the roller-coaster of adrenaline and fun you’re having on the caskets of the citizens? Maybe those groups are protesting the fact that you aren’t going out there and telling these kids you believe in them and reaching out to them.
I don’t care what slogan or message they are chanting because they don’t even realize the root of the problem. Oh, that’s the parent's job? So if parents aren’t doing their job, I guess screw those kids huh? No, you’re a public servant! Serve the public. Perform the work, the way it is supposed to be done! See because that’s my job. My job is to protect and serve all people. Not just the people who like me.
Now, regarding liking more “inspirational” post and less “B.S. political post.” First of all, let’s be honest, if I posted something about how Obama was personally ordering the assassinations of cops, and plotting with the Muslim Brotherhood to destroy America, a lot of you would be the drum major leading a marching band of inspiration. Therefore, if I speak out against things that are contradictory to U.S. constitutional law, which supersedes any political partisanship, or present facts and that doesn’t inspire you, then I cannot help you. The inspiration you seek is not going, to begin with, me. You are going to have to look in the mirror and do some introspection first.
In conclusion, I never chose this for myself. In fact, I’m dyslexic. Writing isn’t easy for me. However, I also an unwilling to run away from what is the ethically correct thing for me to do when others say they want or need help. If you don’t like me for that, or it bothers you, well I don’t know what to tell you other than, you sound a whole lot like what upsets you isn’t that you think I’m pandering to anyone. It sounds like you are upset because I’m not pandering to YOU. All I can tell you is; you don’t have to like me. My job is to protect and serve all people. Not just the people who like me and that includes you.
"You shall not oppress a stranger, since you yourselves know the feelings of a stranger, for you also were strangers in the land of Egypt." - Exodus 23.9
"They have also surrounded me with words of hatred, And fought against me without cause." - Psalms 109.3